Swag

“Swag: An ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, and greenery”

Oh, I apologize for misunderstanding your statement. You must be holding up a beautiful and invisible arrangement of the finest tulips and roses in that photo of you in a hoodie. Wait, you’re not holding up invisible flowers for your destined lover? Well then, I’m afraid you don’t “got swag”.  Oh, but, how foolish of me! Swag has yet another definition that surely you must be referring to! “Informal money or goods taken by a thief or burglar,” if that’s the case, I wouldn’t advise you tell the world of your unethical and pitiful behavior. According to your Facebook profile picture, you’ve just confessed to being a young criminal. Taking a picture of me and my best friend in hoodies and eating ice cream would not necessarily be my preferred method of admitting such a terrible deed, but hey- interesting methodology.

Also, one’s outfit simply cannot be classified as “soo random L0L”. Random means without aim or utterly lost. Unless your shirt is having a midlife crisis and is currently wandering the streets without purpose or meaning to its life of fabric- you’ve worded it wrong. Perhaps you could say, “My clothing appears as though I have gathered fabrics from both the dumpster and the Queen of England’s wardrobe” and thus laugh accordingly.

Placing words in incorrect contexts leads to the demise of common literature and simple writing skills. In other words, it just doesn’t make sense. Use words correctly, don’t slack. Please.

By Sara El Messiry