go find yourself

Individuals. Obviously we’re individuals, but what is that based on? Sure, we know where we want to be, or at least I do. I know that by the time I’m 30, which is 15 years from now, I would like to have achieved at least one of my current life goals.

These goals are to:
1.) Establish an animal shelter, in the heart of Cairo.
2.) Work at a human rights organisation, and yes, this might sound cliché, but I would like to make a change.
3.) Start my own radio station in Egypt, and further expand that to a record label as well.

All these expectations I have set for my future have made me feel “put-together” and “stable” as if I truly know myself. But where do these life goals come from? Do they truly come from who we are? From your name, age, religion, sex, and nationality? Of course not. Nor are we defined by our GPA’s, or the number of people we’ve dated. I think I’m closer to knowing who I am than many others; but this belief stems from my ambitions.

The words I use to describe myself are the following: feminist, musician, ambitious, writer, dog-lover, blunt, passionate, short-tempered, culturally-aware, independent, and kindhearted. But is that really who I am? I’m 15. Despite this, people don’t define me based on what I, as an individual feel that I am. Instead, I’ve commonly been defined as: rude, moody, aggressive, sensitive, dumb, smart, ugly, beautiful, kind, and mean.

What do these words mean? These words are simply fragments constructed to merge our souls into a box and pristinely place a pretty pink bow that goes by the name of “societal norms.” After all, society tells us that girl means weak, and boy means strong. Girl means sensitive, pretty. Boy means heartless, fit. Girl means chastity, boy means debauchery. Challenge these norms, I dare you. But be careful, because what happens then is girl becomes, “rude”, “ugly, and “promiscuous”. Boy becomes “fag”, “weak”, and a “loser”. We all do this subconsciously, there’s no denying it.

This displays the labels which society so firmly places on us.

This brings me back to my initial question, who are we, really? Who am I? It’s quite a loaded question, and I find that I ask myself this question at least three times a day. Every day. But today it hit me, you never know who you truly are. You spend your whole life learning yourself, finding yourself, indulging in the beauty of the little moments. So stop worrying about the petty downfalls in life, and lose yourself doing the things you love.